Ok, so I am not very dedicated to my online journal.  That is cool...alot has happened since my last blog...my sweetheart moved here, and I am so super excited!!! Things have never looked so up, the only problem is that due to a few circumstances we have to push the wedding back.  I am getting tired of having to do that, but I mean I guess it is best if I finish my coursework, or am a bit closer to finishing so that I can help with bills and such.  I am having to work on some Delta Omicron stuff...am exhausted, and Sean has been sick, so I have been helping him a little bit.  Having him here has really shown me my domesticated weaknesses...although cooking has not been one of them.  It is just sometimes really hard to go to school and do workstudy and then come home and keep house for Sean, and he doesn't even live here...it feels like he does, but he makes things soo fun, I just love having him as my best friend, because he is so dependable and I can have so much fun with him. 

He just had his birthday Saturday...he turned 24 WOOHOO...Happy Birthday sweetheart.  We had alot of fun just hanging out, he got to go shopping and I was able to help him pick out some of his clothes.  He is such a cutie...I am excited about his new clothes...there are some dress shirts and ties on sale right now too...I am thinking of getting him one in a unique color so he can wear it to the Music Banquet April 21...Mark it on your calendars...Well...I better get to this Delta Omicron stuff so that I can get a few hours of shut eye before I go to my 8 o'clock class!!!

Peace OUT!!!

Currently Listening Beauty from Pain By Superchick We Live! see related

Wow I am finally updating!!!  I have survived the first week of school, and am lagging a little this week...then again 8:00 classes will do that to a person when they really don't get done everything until 1:00 in the morning.  God has really shown me so much this past few days, and I have really been seeing the light, as they say.  I have always been so worried about my grades and studying and that has been my idol...I don't want something so minute as school to take my attention from my creator...my Heavenly Father.  The soul needs that daily communion with the one their heart longs for.  I just wanna say How AWESOME my God is!   I have really felt Satan fight for me in the past few months and have struggled with it.  Satan will use the mind to make a person stumble.  I finally just got tired of it, and realized I have to get things right with myself before I can expect to fight off Satan because when one is weak there Satan is...Please just continue to pray for me, that I can continue to fight this fight...I know God is right there with me in my corner...I just need to keep my focus on him and not let school take precedence.  I have been immersing myself in KLOVE and the Christian music sides of things, slowly but surely...I just have these bouts where I just wanna scream at the tops of my lungs the words Rich Mullins so famously quoted: "Our God is an AWESOME GOD!"  I just pray for you all that this past week has not been to busy for you to have your time with God, to just allow him to work through you this year.  He is talking, take the time to listen....

OH AND LET ME KNOW HOW I CAN PRAY FOR YOU!

Currently Listening Listen To Your Heart By D.H.T. Listen To Your Heart: It is a great song, all you of you hopeless romantics should hear it... see related

Rain, I love rain!!!  God just knew what he was doing when he created storms, they are just soo amazing, I love the sounds!!!  I hope everyone down here is keeping dry and safe during the tropical storm wake! 

I accidentally overslept today, goodness I enjoyed sleeping way too much.  I have recovered from my previous entry.  Things are starting to look up...you know how you have to have that type of catharsis before you can do any healing!  I am working in the music office this week because Shar is at a relaxing vacation wth her daughter...umm I imagine she is having "great fun"   I hope things begin clearing up for her sake!   

I started my new class Survey of the Exceptional Child this week a 4 week term, some of my peers felt that it was going to be an overwhelming class, well we ended up having an awesome teacher where this was the first time she has taught a college class, she is normally a special education teacher with second grade.  Can you imagine how simple our class is???  For homework she didn't even want us reading the book...How crazy!!  It is so great to finally have a slight break after working as hard as I have! 

Do you ever get the feeling that you have soo much stuff to do and not alot of time to do it?  Or that you need to create such organization within yourself and all the things you need to do, but are not organized enough to know exactly where to begin or how to start?  hmmm yeah if you are feeling that way, don't worry you are not alone!!! 

I hope everyone had a great 4th of July, me I bought a burger from some place, because I couldn't cook one at the apartment, it is against our lease, and then I watched the fireworks on television, I wanted to get someone to go see fireworks with me, but no one was motivated to go, and well....I have no idea where to go for that!!!  Oh well...the television fireworks were amazing...I would like to go to Boston and one day see the the fireworks from there!!!  I am so excited!  I wanna go on a cruise, we should all go on a cruise someday where we can just kick back and relax! 

Currently Listening Beauty from Pain By Superchick Pure see related

THIS MESSAGE IS MORE FOR ME THEN FOR ANYONE, YOU DON"T NEED TO CONTINUE READING:

hmm...lots of thoughts go a rumbling in my head....I just got back from seeing my sister for her birthday.  She is doing summer missions in New Orleans.  I am soo excited that she is soo close to me, so I wanted to see her for her birthday...She has hit the big 2-0!!! 

My sister is such an amazing person.  It was hard driving back because I wanted to stay, I was soo envious, but not in a green eyed way, but in a I am soo happy for her, type of way.  She is such a good girl, she has everything going right.  I just wish I could be her sometimes.  I mean my heart is for missions and allowing God to use me however he needs.  She actually takes the steps to allow God to use her.  Me, I just bury my head in my school books trying to get the best grade I can, and I worry and panic about the grades.  Why is that, why can  I  not let go and just  live the way God wants me to.

Why is it that I feel so empty...I just feel like my life is stagnate.  I don't know how to fix it.  Bren was telling me about some friend she has who is like her equal when it comes to haveing a religious friend who encourages, and who just really knows her heart.  I can't even keep friends...I can't keep them close enough to become close like that.  I need someone to continue to encourage me, because I allow all my perfectionistic tendencies to kinda take over and lose sight of everything all over again.  Making straight A's is not everything, it does not determine how good of a person is. I just am really proud of my sister and all she stands for. She is just such a good person.  Parts of me hate that we had such a bad growing up that we did, because i want us to be soo much closer...I dunno if she wants the same thing because we we are so different. 

Why is it that I can't find a church alone?  Why is it that i have to do things with someone?  I am not comfortable enough to take that step and surround me with people who have the same ideals as I do.  I am afraid to put myself out there after everything that has happened this last year with my "supposed" friends.  They just left me when it came down to it.  I just have trouble going through with trying to make friends.  What if they don't like me...or think I am ugly.  I don't feel good enough about myself because I have been sick and I am always seeing that "sick" in the mirror.  I mean I am really not that cute of a person. I am ok with that, I just want to make thigns right with God, I just have no idea how to go about making him the center of my life.  I just want to live the life I profess to live by being a Christian.  God deserves all my praise, I wanna give him that.  I want someone who can have long talks about God and encourage me while also challenging me...and they won't give up on me.  Do people like that exist?  Obviously, Brenda found one.  Parts of me just want to pack up and move and try to figure out if I can make it someplace else, and reinvent myself.  Start all over, find a place where I do fit in...

Pondering, Pondering,Pondering.

If you do not know my sisters, any of them you are really missing out, because they are the most beautiful girls you would ever come in contact with, and they have the most open hearts willing to love and care for everyone they come in contact with.  They are my rolemodels, I look up to all three of them...Dave, Ginn, and Bren!!!!  I love you girls...and miss you...also HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRENDA!!!

Currently Listening Hallelujah! - Great Choruses see related

update!!! update!!! update!!!

So I guess I am a lot smarter then I give myself credit for.  In my history class I made a 98 on the test, now granted...he did give us a review, I don't think it would be that high without that review...BUT of course we will say that I did it because I knew the information.  Then, we did a research paper in turabian style...WHAT IS TURABIAN STYLE...why do we have to know that...WHO CARES, i mean if you do, then I apologize, but I couldn't figure out up from down in that  style.  Anyhow, the teacher for two days was going on and on about how he was so disappointed that so many people plagarized, and he is a huge plagarize NAZI, i mean he was taking forever checking our papers because he was looking up the sources.  anyhow, in class today he gave back our papers, and well i was about to throw up and i was shaking out of nervousness...I get my paper back and the number 86 was on my paper, can you believe that...I mean none of the footnotes were right because i cut and pasted the work cited page (ran out of time) since I procrastinated, but I had the second highest grade in the class.  I can handle that....just be praying, I have a Gerontology Research Proposal due tomorrow, a HUGE KILLER COTTEN test tomorrow as well... and on Friday, the FINAL HISTORY TEST...Praise Jesus I am excited about being done!!!

For all of you who are doing things this summer coming up or for 4th of July, be safe and HAVE FUN!!